So much has happened this year. It seems as though my family life is moving at the speed of light. The most glorious thing to have happened this year so far is the birth of my third daughter and fifth child!
She arrived on August 8th and is a complete joy! While she hung out in my tummy for longer then expected, we had a fast and relatively lovely delivery I would say (more on that in another post).
Understandably, I took a bit of a maternity leave as the strains of motherhood and maternity-hood began to wear on me. Once again, postpartum is kind of kicking me in the bum. I've had a hard time snapping back to my old routines and well.....the old me. Now that I think about it, I guess nothing would be the same now that we have a new family member. Including my typical after birth timeline.
Well, my plan is to get to all of these posts that I have floating around in my head. Really wonderful topics that I cant wait to broach. However, a very important topic has beat out all others, and I feel a bit called to put it out there.
I am wondering.......
Where did all of my friends go?
It's interesting how when we become wives and mothers, so many other relationships in our lives are affected. It is especially noticable when we're "the first" in our respective cliques. You know......the first to get married.....the first to have children.....the first to have multiple children. That sort of thing. All of a sudden you can't relate.......your girlfriends cant really relate. Suddenly, you have little to no understanding of one another. The text messages and phone calls become far and few between. You can't go out with them as much, or they just stop even asking you if you would be interested in tagging along. It's like that sometimes.
In my own personal friendship story, I've started to wonder if I was ever truly a BFFL to begin with. My "best friend" had a childhood best friend before she and I truly connected in college. I know, that sounds absolutely silly. Of course people can have more then one best friend! However, I will say that perhaps I needed her more then maybe she needed me. You see, I count only a few as a true friend, and hardly anyone had survived as my best friend for longer then a couple of years. Maybe this was due to my moving around alot as an adolescent (I've moved alot in recent years as well), or maybe my high expectations of others. What can I say? I love hard and strong, and I accept nothing less than that in return (or you will be quickly cut). Maybe that's saying something about me. I can be rather intolerable. All of that to say, she is (was?) my only best friend and well.....maybe I was just her spare.
Motherhood can be a lonely road sometimes. Don't be surprised if your social scene changes. That's why its so important to find a community of women that you can talk to. While isolating at times, motherhood can really force you out of your comfort zone. It can often force you to find new people to connect with. Dont be afraid to go to that mom group, or say "Hi" to that mom you see all the time at the park. Forging new friendships can be so exciting. I imagine its wonderful to have a mommy tribe that truly understands everything that you are going through. They live close by, or you all check in on eachother all of the time. I'm still looking for one myself. I may have to create my own as I now live in a rather isolated mountain community.
Take heart. If you are in a season of loneliness and are lacking in the friends department, it wont always be like this. We mothers sacrifice alot while we are raising children. You will have a chance to reconnect with others in due time. Also, remember that you have a friend who is always with you. He hears you crying in the laundry room, or venting about how you would like more help around the house. He is with you when you are weighing important family decisions, or are frustrated with your little ones. He walks with you every step of the way, gently leading you.
His name is Jesus.
Remember this verse:
"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."
In these words are truth. While we may have to be in certain life stages, or moods, or circumstances to retain certain friends.......Jesus is with us through it ALL. He is a constant friend throughout our entire lives...patiently waiting for us to come to Him.