In my last Instagram post, I mentioned how our new baby girl has been giving us such a lesson in faith. With her medical challenges, and the unknown ahead of us my faith has been really tested in these last couple of months. Don’t get it twisted now….I’ve never doubted the power of my God nor his ability to see us through this period in our lives. But rather….I think there have been times when I doubted how much I thought I believed. I’ve really questioned myself! I used to think that my faith was at a 150% all of the time. Alas, some days I found that the things I would say and how my brain naturally worked contradicted that.
Women are natural researchers. We want the facts a lot of the times. When my husband and I realized that our baby girl was going to be facing a medical battle, I began to research all that I could about her condition. I read case studies, articles from medical journals, outcomes, percentages…all came pouring into my brain. I began to accept this information as the likelihood of what was to come. When someone would ask for an update on our baby and offer some sort of general encouragement, I would say things like “…well her condition is what it is.”, “…it’s not likely that she will heal naturally,” or “….the percentages say...”. Every appointment seemed like a confirmation of this as there was no improvement.
But one day, I got to thinking about mustard seeds. Listening to one of my kids’ worship songs, I heard them singing about,“…faith as small as a mustard seed.”
“And the Lord said, if ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you. “
~ Luke 17:6 KJV
I got to thinking that yes…some days my faith did feel really small. I was letting the information of the world usurp the power that I know my God has. I wasn’t leaving the door open for God’s possibilities when I had certain thoughts or made certain statements. I’m a facts/realistic type of person, and the devil knows that. He used my natural inclinations to insert doubt and a type of unfaithfulness into my mind and heart.
Even though there were days when I felt that my faith was small, I never lost my faith in God. That’s not good enough though, as God doesn’t want us to just have “mustard seed” sized faith. That’s the bare minimum. God wants us to have faith large enough to move mountains….to kill giants….to believe in His power and endless possibilities. This is the truth that I am walking in now. This is how God has been working through my newest daughter….teaching my family and me.
This past Thursday, was the first appointment that I didn’t leave completely heartbroken. We got MAJOR NEWS that the impacted organs in her body have more function then we initially thought! While she is still fighting a very real battle, God is really working on her behalf. He can do a lot with 20%, apparently!
In life, we will be faced with tremendous battles. Things wont always be ideal. However, we HAVE to keep our faith in God. Our faith banks may get low sometimes, but NEVER lose your faith. Don’t be content with the bare minimum of “mustard seed” sized faith, either. Have BIG, BOLD FAITH! Faith that can move mountains! Check your hearts often, and refer to the scriptures daily to make continuous deposits into your faith bank. Pray for God to come dwell in your heart and give you the faith that you need to take care of your family. No matter what...keep the faith Mama!